Daodejing Chapter 67: Lead by Staying Behind

Gardening in Shaoxing, Spring 2025

Circumstances schemed to grant me audiences with men who many call great. I saw them on the stage speaking to thousands, in conference rooms debating multi-million dollar decisions, and rode along in vans for hours with nothing to do but talk about the weather and the next factory. It works on you, all that time, all that seeing the world one way — their way. Their world is tailored to them, designed to prop up and hoist them higher. Your time, your spirit, siphoned away to feed their… delusions.

Delusional because what is great? Doing big things, accomplishing the unlikely, seeing how many strangers can be made to nod agreement? The Daodejing goes to considerable pains to warn us against false greatness. Spotting those who bought into it is easy once you know what to look for. They stoke their own story. Look for origin stories curated to place them at the centre. They say they started with next to nothing. See the paid mouthpieces singing their distinction, polishing their reputations, while they stand by.

“Everyone in the world says I’m great, whom I seem not. Only do people say I am great, I am not whom I seem to be. If I had been truly great, I must have been small and insignificant for quite a while now. I have three treasures, and hold them as dear: One is kindness. Two is frugality. Three is daring not to be ahead of the world. Kindness, therefore, there can be bravery. Frugality, therefore, there can be expansion. Daring not to be ahead of the world, therefore, one can lead the world. Now, if you talk about bravery without kindness, expansion without frugality, or going ahead of the world without putting your self-interests behind, you are simply kissing death. Being kind, you can win when you fight; you can hold when you defend. Heaven will help, and your kindness can protect you.”

Laozi was clever I think, and he had ample living examples to formulate his ideas. He lays out the cynical blueprint of the selfish and the vain, delivered in the gibing, mocking tone of one who sees through this frailty of human nature. I may seem not great, yet everyone calls me great, therefore I am… Laozi knew what he was doing. There is never a shortage of people who will talk up their bravery, show off their restraint, and highlight their generosity. Watch their actions, not their words. Listen to them behind closed doors. You will not see kindness. Kissing death, indeed.

We all encounter these “great men.” We must rub shoulders with them, even depend on them, to make our progress. We cannot withdraw into seclusion. But neither must we give them anything of real value, as I did to my regret. I am still paying off my debt today, in small instalments of bitterness. I want you to know that you don’t have to give up anything valuable to make your way. Do not hate them, or even worse, do not pity them. They are worthy of nothing so precious to you as your peace and sense of self. Take what you will, and return nothing, nothing but the echo of what they want to hear. Holding something meaningless in your hand, it is easy to give it away.

Shenzhen Bay Park, Summer 2025

[Author’s Note: For those interested, the translation used for this series is Dao De Jing, translated by Ju Yan’an. It was my first and has become my favourite translation. Find it here.]

[Author’s Note: Thank you for taking the time to visit. All pictures were taken by the author or family member, unless otherwise noted.]